How to Thank Your Midwife for Supporting You During Birth

People love to feel appreciated. Well, I do and believe you do too. But, let’s face it knowing how to show appreciation can be difficult sometimes.

Many times, we are unsure how to thank the amazing people who have gone above and beyond for us. As a result, we do nothing!

Well, this post is here to change that. Today, I’ll show you how to thank your midwife for supporting you during labour. And for helping you have the birth you dreamt of.

I had over 6 midwives with both children (I’ll share more on this later). Of the 6, two stood out and went above and beyond for me.

The first was the midwife that attended to me in the labor room when my first son was born- Charmaine. She was simply amazing! And helped me stay calm and make the right decisions in the face of a complicated birth. And even visited me that night on the ward.

Community midwife examines a pregnant woman

The second was my community midwife who helped me prepare for breastfeeding my tongue-tied baby and was there for me with the right support after my baby was born. I talk more about what she did to help me in this post about how to prepare for motherhood.

As you can imagine, I wanted to show my appreciation and deep gratitude for their enormous support, warmth and kindness to me during and after the birth of my babies.

And I did. 

I’ll tell you what I did in a bit. Though, as I researched for this post, I’m wondering why I didn’t do more and asking myself if I can still do something about it.

In fact, that leads me to answer this next question.

WHEN TO THANK YOUR MIDWIFE

Like me, you might be wondering if it’s too late to send your midwife a gift? 

Let me assure you, it’s not. Even if you had your baby 10 years ago. I’m serious! Well, provided you can still trace your midwife.

Just the other day, there was a story in the news of a man that contacted the team that rescued him from drowning, 30 years ago. 

Yup, you read that right. It took him 30 years but still, he did it.

So, ideally thanking your midwife immediately after your baby’s birth is great but sometimes, that’s just not possible. Things happen –  there might be complications, your midwife’s shift might end or you might leave when your midwife isn’t on duty and so on. 

All the same, you can send an appreciation card or gift later on. Even, years later.

WHO SHOULD YOU THANK?

I believe you should thank in particular anyone that stood out in helping you. This may be someone in particular or the entire maternity team. 

For instance, the anesthesiologist who administered the epidural was so calm, kind and reassuring. He’s definitely someone I thanked.

This post will also be relevant to you if you have a labor and delivery nurse as opposed to a midwife.

A midwife thank you gift

CAN MIDWIVES ACCEPT GIFTS?

Are you considering giving a midwife thank you gift?

Your midwife might not be allowed to accept cash gifts above a certain amount. Their professional code forbids this.

The Nursing and Midwifery Council’s (NMC) Code states in section 21.1 that all nurses and midwives must refuse all but the most trivial gifts, favours, and hospitality.

Also, the NHS England Guidelines state, “The guidance will permit staff, such as nurses, to receive a box of chocolates or other small tokens of gratitude from patients but will require them to decline anything that could be seen to affect their professional judgement. Gifts with a value over £50, accepted on behalf of organisations, will need to be declared. “

HOW DO YOU THANK A MIDWIFE?

Tell her thank you and mean it!

I believe many midwives will appreciate hearing a genuine thank you. Especially one said from the depths of your heart. This is how to say thank you to your midwife.

Just knowing that you valued the support rendered to you during birth can make all the hard work worth it for midwives.

And yes, I know, it’s what they are paid to do but anyone who has witnessed a cold and uncaring midwife like I have, will appreciate those that are kind and warm and empathetic.

Sometimes though, saying thank you isn’t just enough especially when your midwife went above and beyond. If that’s the case with you, keep reading for more midwife appreciation ideas.

Give her a warm heartfelt hug (Be warned: this might not be suitable in a pandemic)

If you are a sucker for hugs, don’t restrain from hugging your midwife to let her know how much her help and support means to you.

Hug her warmly. 

It will leave her with good feelings and remind her that her work as a midwife is valid.

Give a personalized thank you note for midwife

This is one of my favourite ways to thank my midwife.

More so because, I can write about the personal way she took care of me and how much it meant to me. 

I also think it makes a great keepsake for midwives. Yes, because letters/notes are long-lasting.

I’m not a midwife but I imagine that on particular challenging days, they can re-read these cards and know that despite how that day went, they are great and exceptional. And their work has value!

Thank you letter midwife after delivery

Send a letter to the head of midwifery at the hospital

Writing to the hospital’s midwifery head, a letter that sings the praises of your midwife is a fantastic idea. 

Not only will you be acknowledging her but you would be letting her superiors know. This way, they can acknowledge her good services. 

She could also potentially get a reward (if that hospital has such a reward system in place for good feedback).

That’s exactly what Boris Johnson, the British Prime Minister did. 

He highlighted 3 nurses who took care of him during the pandemic. Personally mentioned their names on Tv. 

I thought that was a great way to show appreciation to them.  I believe in doing so he definitely raised their profiles. 

Send a thank you card with baby picture

If you didn’t have the time to write her a note in the hospital,  you can send a personalized thank you midwife card with a picture of your baby!

I bet your midwife will love that.

Send healthy snacks and fresh food

You’ve given birth. You know how busy the wards can be. Many times, midwives barely have time to eat with a lot going on.

Healthy snacks is a good way to make sure they eat something fast and on the go.

Good healthy snack options are fresh and dried fruits. Fresh foods like sandwiches. I would not advise nuts because of allergies.

thank a midwife with chocloates

Send her chocolates

If you want to appreciate more than one person in particular, this is a good one to do for the maternity ward or a group of midwives. 

You can send a box of luxury chocolates to the wards. I hear midwives love this too!

Give/send your midwife a gift

As someone whose love language is gifts, I so very highly recommend this. 

You can find many great thank you present for midwife on Etsy.

Send Flowers

Sending flowers is another great way to thank your midwife. 

However as with nuts, know that some people are allergic to some certain types of flowers.

Having a girl? Name your daughter after your midwife. 

If you are not too particular, consider giving your baby a middle name after your midwife.

Yes, I know that might seem a bit extreme to some. But, many people have positive births that can be solely credited to their midwife’s support and feel so strongly about the experience that they would name their baby after said midwife.

If you are having a different gender to your midwife’s (there are male midwives, you know), you can use the feminine or masculine form of your midwife’s name ( if that exists).

I would imagine any midwife in such a position will feel very honoured indeed.

One more thing…

Don’t forget the community midwife

I had 6 midwives in 2 pregnancies. One was a disappearing act (more like she was ill, so, I never saw her).

Another was quite new and not very knowledgeable to be honest (not really her fault but  experience was lacking). The 3rd was rather negative and kept saying my second baby will arrive late because the first one did. 

The last one though, was simply fabulous! She was my community midwife.

She helped me achieve the birth and postpartum I wanted. I gave her a note afterwards as well. Writing this post now, I wish I did more.

Many times, especially in England, where I live, the community midwife isn’t usually the same one that delivers the baby and it’s easy to forget to thank her.

Try not to, especially if she’s as awesome as mine was!

We sometimes have bad/cold midwives, so all the better to appreciate the good ones.

Finally…

Now that you know how to thank your midwife, which of the ways mentioned above will you try?

Remember, it doesn’t matter if you had a baby yesterday or 30 years ago. You can still send that note, write that card, buy the chocolate.

I’m off to send a special note to Hayley, the community midwife that took exceptional care of me in my second pregnancy.

READ NEXT : 13 NOT-SO-OBVIOUS THINGS TO INCLUDE IN YOUR HOSPITAL BAG

What about you?

What other ways have you found to thank your midwife? I’d like to know to add to this list.

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