When Do Newborns Get Easier?
You’ve just had your baby and like all new parents, the reality has hit you! This is NOT what you expected!
During one night feed, you’ve found yourself wondering if it gets easier with a newborn and if so, WHEN?
I can so relate. This was me not too long ago.
I’m forever grateful for one of the best new mum advice I got when I had my first baby 3 years ago.
Her golden nugget gave me perspective. It helped me endure the tiredness, overwhelm, lack of sleep, general exhaustion, uncertainty and cluelessness that many new mums like you face.
So, what’s this great pearl of golden wisdom?
Stick with me and you’ll find out soon!
I’ll tell you all about that (plus everything I learnt) in these next few paragraphs. Come along with me.
Please note that this article may contain affiliate links. You can read my full disclosure at the bottom of this page.
When Does Having A Baby Get Easier?
Having a baby usually gets easier around 3-4 months of age because that’s when babies start to sleep longer, interact more – smiles, laughs – and you begin to feel more confident about your parenting abilities.
However, note that different factors can affect when it gets easier with a newborn.
First, babies are different. Many babies will naturally be easier to take care of than others.
Some babies may be colicky, have undiagnosed allergies or just be downright cranky. These all make for a more difficult infant.
Second, as parents, different things stress us.
For instance, certain moms may cope well in the early days but then struggle months ahead and vice versa.
Do babies get easier at 6 weeks?
You might have heard that babies get easier at 6 weeks.
So, you’ve found yourself counting down to the 6th week as you would countdown to Christmas.
First, always remember that every baby is different. And try not to compare your baby to another even if you have twins.
Although your newborn will have a bit of a routine by 6 weeks, you may still find that your 6-week old baby is feeding round the clock (cluster-feeding), waking up several times at night, going through a growth spurt or just being extra fussy.
All these make most babies not much easier to take care of by 6 weeks.
Another good point to remember is that newborns change constantly.
They may behave in a certain way today and a completely different way the next day.
This wasn’t something I knew beforehand and it threw me off guard.
But generally, there are weeks when your newborn will seem to feed round the clock called cluster feeding and weeks when they will grow rapidly (growth spurts).
During these weeks, babies can be extra fussy, clingy, difficult and oh so tiring!
Babies usually cluster feed at around 3 weeks, 6 weeks and 12 weeks.
And newborns go through growth spurts at around 7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months and 9 months. Source
Knowing when cluster feeding and growth spurts occur ahead of time can help prepare you for some of the extra fussiness your baby may be exhibiting.
Do babies get easier at 8 weeks?
Many babies are a lot easier at 8 weeks. This is mainly due to them reaching some key developmental milestones.
By 8 weeks, your baby’s feeding, either breastfeeding or bottle feeding will be established.
And you will have gotten that beautiful first smile that melts your heart. You can say babies become fun at this age.
Because at this age, your baby is beginning to differentiate night from day, he’ll start sleeping for longer stretches at night.
He is also more alert and responsive and will coo and gurgle when you talk to him.
This makes your baby a lot easier to handle at 8 weeks old.
Do babies get easier at 12 weeks?
I would say it does get easier at 12 weeks.
In fact, this is the little secret my dear friend told me when I had my first son 3 years ago.
She said, “don’t worry, it gets easier at 12 weeks!” And, I’ve found this to be true with both my kids!
At 12 weeks, a newborn sleeps for longer stretches at night because they’re not as irritated by every pee and poo.
They are much more aware of their surroundings and are more easily entertained (start grasping a rattle or toy).
The fact that your baby is sleeping for a longer period at night means that you’ll be getting better quality sleep.
This alone makes babies easier at 12 weeks.
Tips to help you get through the first 3 months with your newborn
Wondering how you’ll get through these first 12 weeks with your newborn (aka how to survive the newborn stage)?
Here are 8 useful, practical and simple ways to make life with your newborn much easier!
#1. Know Yourself
If I knew now what I know then, I would have realized how much of a role, self-awareness plays in a new mum’s life.
Knowing yourself and being honest with yourself is so paramount because everyone is different.
Granted, the newborn stage is difficult for every new parent, more so the new mum. And there are general stressors that every new mum faces – sleep deprivation, tiredness, exhaustion, feeding problems etc
Yet, there are specific stressors that make things overwhelming for each mum and these stressors can vary widely.
Mum A might be fine with an untidy house while Mum B will be incredibly stressed about it.
In my opinion, this is one of the most important parts of coping with the first few weeks with your newborn.
If you forget every other thing I’ve written today, don’t forget this part –
Know yourself and remember that your feelings are valid and validated!
Know what stresses you in the context of your new baby and family dynamics.
Learn what helps you relax and feel empowered.
Know the things that make you happy.
Find things that refuel you!
For me, a constant stressor was cooking and even thinking about what to make for dinner! While I found that having a shower refuelled me.
This is a key foundation you’ll build the next points on.
#2. Eat Well
Having a newborn is draining!
You are constantly feeding, changing nappies, watching over your baby as she sleeps, worrying. All these are made worse by a lack of sleep as well.
It sure can be overwhelming!
Eating and especially eating well refuels the body with energy and strength. And you need loads of energy for each day’s task.
The problem though will be getting food ready. As a new parent, there are a couple of options.
- You could freeze food in advance, when cooking, cook double or triple portions.
- Pay for a food subscription service.
- Order take-outs,
- Let friends and family cook for you.
Like I said earlier, do what works best for you!
For instance, I don’t enjoy cooking. So, having to cook in those early weeks was a BIG stressor for me.
If I could go back in time, I would have used a food subscription service since I didn’t have friends nearby who could help.
Learn from my mistake.
#3. Sleep
The popular advice to “Sleep when your baby sleeps” is well-intentioned but perhaps not practicable for you.
In my experience, it was quite difficult to accomplish, especially with little to no help.
One, you need to do household chores about the same time- cook, tidy up the house, maybe even run errands.
So, how does a sleep-deprived new mum get some sleep?
An extra hour of sleep each day can go a long way.
Can your partner help with a morning and night-time feed while you take a little nap?
Can you get anyone around to hold and care for your baby while you sleep?
Or can you delegate those things that need doing to someone else? Your spouse, a friend, a family member, a professional cleaner?
These are some ways I wished I had prepared for sleep with my newborn baby:
- Get a night nurse or postpartum doula. Now that I know better, I could have saved money or try not to be too cheap and gotten a postpartum doula to help me care for my newborn baby in those early weeks.
- Accept help when it’s offered. More importantly, have a list of the chores you need help with on hand. So, if anyone offers to help, you know where to point them to.
- Take a nap a day. Even if you can’t always sleep when your baby sleeps (perhaps you have a toddler too). Try to take at least one nap each day to make you feel refreshed.
- Cook simple meals ahead so I wouldn’t have to worry about cooking while attending to my newborn and toddler. Or hired a food subscription service.
#4. Chores
Unfortunately, after having a baby, the chores won’t run away.
You will find doing chores very tiring after having a baby. So, what can you do to make life easier?
Like I mentioned before, get your partner to help out. Do you have older kids? Get them involved as well.
Accept help from your family and friends.
Most importantly, prioritise the most important and urgent chores that need to get done. Do those first.
A good system I use is to pick 3 things that fall into the important and urgent boxes. Those 3 things are what I would focus on for that particular day and so on.
This will help you not to get overwhelmed caring for yourself and a newborn baby.
Also, having a home management system will be a game-changer!
So, you’ll have a cleaning routine, shopping routine, to-do lists etc. This helps to break up those big impossible-looking tasks into bite-sized I-can-do-this jobs.
#5. Feeding baby
A lot of expectant mums underestimate how much work and time goes into feeding a newborn baby. Be it breastfeeding or formula feeding.
Most of your time as a new mum in the first 12 weeks will be spent feeding your baby.
This is because babies have super tiny tummies that fill up and empty pretty quickly.
For breastfeeding mums, the challenge is that both you and your baby are just learning the art of breastfeeding.
And for many mums, breastfeeding especially in the first weeks comes with lots of challenges – bruised & sore nipples, a bad latch, milk supply issues, tongue-tie etc
Formula feeding mums are also faced with their own challenges – overfeeding, feeding on the go, preparing feeds for nighttime, correct measurements, baby agreeing with the formula brand they’ve chosen etc.
SEE ALSO: 10 ways to mix formula without clumps
This is another reason why many new mums might be wondering when babies get easier.
The good news is by the 12th-week mark, most nursing mums would have established their milk supply and overcome the initial issues.
The same goes for formula-feeding mums as well.
Taking a great breastfeeding class before your baby is born can really make things easier for you.
In this nursing class that I recommend, you’ll learn about how to get breastfeeding off to a great start.
Also, Stacey, the IBCLC that teaches this course talks about what challenges to expect from breastfeeding and how to overcome them.
PIN TO READ THIS LATER
#6. Take a Newborn Class
I’d admit, this is something I wish I and my husband did.
A lot of the stress that comes with taking care of a newborn baby is linked to the fact that most first time mums don’t know what to expect.
You’re uncertain what behaviour is normal and what’s not.
You can’t sleep at night because you keep checking to make sure your baby is breathing. I know, I’ve been there!
The fact that babies change so frequently can be a source of confusion for a new mum who doesn’t realise that this is normal.
I was that mum! I worried every time my son changed his patterns and kept thinking something was wrong with him. When in fact, he was just being a baby!
This lack of knowledge of normal newborn behaviour leads to a lack of confidence for many first-time mums.
Consequently, causing major stress in the first few weeks.
A good way to combat this is to take a newborn course.
A newborn course will teach you how to care for your newborn baby as well as normal vs abnormal behaviours, features to look out for.
Mommy Labor Nurse’s online birth classes are one of the best available.
I love that they have three different versions of their class so you can get the birth education that’s right for you – plus they all cover newborn baby care!
But I understand if you aren’t ready to commit to a full-fledged paid class just yet.
Did you know they provide a free 45-minute Birth Education Workshop?
It’s packed with useful information and advice to help you get started on your birth preparations!
I highly recommend you take one before your baby arrives or even shortly afterwards during the dream 3 o’clock feed.
#7. Self Care
Self-care should be a mandatory aspect of every mum’s life. More so, a new mum.
Self Care is a great way to refuel yourself as I talked about in point one.
We, women, give so much and do not consciously take the time to replenish ourselves so we easily get burnt out. (I’m talking to myself here as well).
Men are not the same. They take the time to do the things that refuel and re-energise them. Think about it.
They watch and participate in their favourite sports, hang out with their mates and so on.
You may think self-care is NOT for you because you feel self-care is expensive.
But, it doesn’t have to be.
It’s not always easy to achieve but it’s possible if well-planned.
A good way some mums plan their self-care is to ask for some time off as a push present idea.
So, when you feel you need a break, you ask for 15 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 hour, of time out.
Your husband can handle the baby during this time.
What can you do for self-care? Here are some affordable self-care ideas.
- Take a shower. You’d be surprised how refreshing it can feel to take a shower without having to constantly worry if your baby will wake up while you are showering.
- Take a walk
- Listen to an audiobook, podcast
- Sleep
- Talk to close friends
- Watch a movie
- Go shopping
- Eat a good meal at your favourite restaurant
- Have a spa day
- Listen to your favourite music!
#8. Talk to friends
Caring for a newborn baby is a lot of work and sometimes, you’ll want to share your experiences, worries and stories with someone that will listen.
Find a support system that you can talk to. Preferably, mothers like you that get you.
When I struggled with breastfeeding, I tried reaching out to some of my friends but they didn’t understand my struggles because they weren’t mums themselves.
Now that I know better, I’ve joined several online mum communities on Facebook to find a safe place to go to with my mummy troubles.
Just search on Facebook for private mum groups, you’ll find tons of them. Many local to you.
As always, share cautiously online without revealing private security details.
And if you do have family and friends that get you, make sure to call and chat them up often.
Wrapping up,
If you’re a new mum wondering when things with your new baby will get easier?
There is hope!
Things should get significantly easier by 12 weeks and even better month after month, barring unforeseen circumstances.
In the meantime, try to implement at least one of the tips I shared above about how to cope before the 12 weeks is up.
Other posts you may find helpful:
Everything you need for a quick postpartum recovery
How to thank your midwife for a wonderful birth
My top 10 breastfeeding must-haves
How to deal with breastfeeding guilt
You’re doing great, mama!